Dave Selfish Lyrics (feat. James Blake)
What if I’m selfish?
What if I’m the reason behind it?
What if I’m overprotected with family because of how mine is?
What if I’m jealous?
Maybe that’s what’s making me nervous
What if my effort of pulling you closer pushing you further?
What if I’m selfish?
What if the reason they call me the greatest
Is also the reason that me and you living on different pages?
What if I’m too much?
What if I settled and I didn’t fight?
What if my fear of doing it wrong’s the reason I haven’t been doing it right?
What if I’m selfish?
What if the kids just wanna be kids
And don’t want to live in and out of the news
And chill and don’t even wanna be rich?
And what I’m so self-centred
That I don’t even realise what I could miss?
And what if I’m
What if I’m falling in the abyss
Maybe it’s, yeah
Maybe it’s dark, maybe it’s day
Maybe it’s too many nights in L,A.
Look at the house, it’s sorry, it’s still
All of the feelings we hid in the hills
Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s me
Maybe the media or the provoking
Gave you my heart, I laid it bare
Funny you went and you poked it
What if it’s better with me out the way?
What if it’s better with me out the
Like what if it’s better with me out the way?
What if I’m poison, what if I’m cancer?
What if I’m dangerous and I’m wild?
Look in my eyes and seeing a child
What if he’s broken? What if he’s scared?
What if he’s ostracised and vilified?
See, peace is just an illusion, I ain’t got a home, I live in confusion
What if I’m selfish?
Forever, forever, forever
I manage the symptoms forever
You can love how you want
I know to give is no loss
But can you settle for a second?
And let go of your idea of heaven
I know it’s a lot
But it might be all I’ve got
I want to throw myself in
Snap off the mask
I want a clown that sings
And a love that lasts
And I wanna escape away
Go with you to the parish
I want to give you my life
Or at least something to cherish
What if I’m selfish?
I done a lot things I regret
Like announcing our split on a text
Don’t know why but I still buy gifts for my ex
Watching her stories to see if she checks
I’m a mess, I don’t know if my head’s in the game
She told me don’t mention her name
I’m suggesting the same, I’ma get through the pain
Wanna see the sunshine, gotta get through the rain
Bag full of trauma I left on the train
I’m ashamed for the days that I said that I changed
I’m a cheat, sat in a therapist chair crying like a baby in the middle of a Harley Street
Like I’m fighting a sickness that I can’t beat
I’m disloyal, and then I go mad
Reflection telling me I’m just like my dad, then this white woman telling me it ain’t so bad
Middle of my sentence she cut me off like
“Sorry, David, we don’t have any more time”
The appointment till 4:00 and it’s 3:55
Bro, I feel like she wouldn’t even care if I died
Man, I tried all this therapy shit, man, I tried all this therapy, shit, bro I know
Wouldn’t even say I’m depressed, but I’m low, in the Grosvenor Casino in Edgeware Road
I’ve got too many sins to atone, and a voice in my head like
At this point, like at this point where you should have been rich like
At this point, where you should have had kids like
At this point, should have built you a life like
Look around you, don’t you feel you’re behind like
Look around you, don’t you feel you’re behind like
Look around you, don’t you feel like, like
What if I never find love
Don’t know if it’s scarier, the thought of us two together or being alone
I’m so used to being alone
What if I’m somebody nobody wants?
What if I’m damaged or what if I waited too long, and I’m old?
I mean, what if I’m cold?
I mean, what if I cut off the hand that I hold?
I mean, what if I’m rapidly spiralling, tired and jaded or what if I’m faded?
Or what if anxiety’s growing inside me that I might’ve left all my best years behind me
Or what if I’m scared as I touch 27 that you don’t appear in my idea of heaven
Or what if I’m, what if I’m
What if I’m selfish?